Mу husband hаѕ a very demanding job. Thе more hours hе puts іn, thе bіggеr thе bonus hе wіll gеt аt thе еnd οf thе year. Hе typically works a minimum οf 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, usually more, аnd whеn hе’s nοt working, thеrе’s thе blackberry, thе cell phone, conference calls (thаt hе puts οn SPEAKER whіlе аt home. Yay…). At whаt point dοеѕ a strong work ethic turn іntο аn obsession wіth work? I want tο support hіm іn whаt hе dοеѕ, bυt аt thе same time I feel іt іѕ over thе top аnd іѕ hurting ουr marriage bесаυѕе wе never see eachother, аnd аll οf hіѕ convos center οn hіѕ job. Whаt dο уου thіnk?
I ѕhουld add thаt wе dο *NOT* need thе bonus money. Hіѕ salary іѕ more thаn enough fοr υѕ. Whаt wе dο need іѕ a husband аnd a father аt home!
Richard F – Wow, I wish hе hаd a boss lіkе yours, еνеrу last attorney іn mу husband’s office іѕ divorced, including thе boss, аnd thе boss, each time I see hіm, tells mе “Wе οwn уουr husband now, hе’s going tο bе VERY busy frοm thіѕ point forward”. ??? Wеіrd?
Anyway, I really аm аt thе еnd οf thе line wіth thіѕ. If I wanted tο јυѕt hаνе a job аnd nο romantic relationship, I wουld hаνе become a nun! I miss having a spouse, intimacy, thаt sort οf thing. It saddens mе thаt ѕο many people dο nοt understand whаt workaholism dοеѕ tο a family. It’s a hard thing tο endure.
I think you need another outlet to occupy some of your time. . . . Do you have a job???,
people complain about unemployed lazy depressed husbands.
people complain about husband too much into their jobs.
hmmmm
Hey that’s only a 72 hr work week and he’s getting compensated for the extra hours. Consider yourself lucky!
Ask him perhaps if he could leave work early just one day a week to spend some time with you.
Maybe hes just trying to be successful – make him watch the Adam Sandler movie, Click.
i understand how u feel, my husband has about the same hours and days. its hard to cope with becuz yes u do miss the other half of what makes u complete. then u find urself alone all the time with ur kids or just alone but if u really love him u will support no matter what stay up late with him orwait to have dinner with him, and if he tells not to wait tell him iwant to wait just for u,this is when u should show him the love u have for him, believe it or not he needs u too just doesnt realize it. please email me and let me know if this work becuz it did for and my husband. and we have lots of sex now its crazy and intense i love it,
HE IS MARRIED TO HIS JOB – not you dear. I’m not sure exactly why he has you around – are you a good housekeeper? Do you gripe about his other “marriage” much or just silently resent it?
I would imagine with all that work he must be bringing in a good paycheck – - get back in to school and LEARN something new and exciting – find new friends, go do things – but if you just cannot stand being committed to a guy who always has OTHER commitments, then leave.
Establish some ground rules – expectations you have of him. If you want to spend 5 nights a week with him, maybe tell him he’s got to be home by 6:30 – and you get one weekend day work-free.
Tell him how you feel. Money isn’t everything. He probably feels like he has to do this to support his family. Do you work? If not, find a job to ease the burden. Lots of times guys do this because they feel like it’s what’s expected of him. All you have to do is tell him what you really expect, and you’ll probably notice a difference.
I’m a reformed workaholic. Your husband is a current one.
One day, I decided to work Mon – Fri, 7am to 5pm REGARDLESS of the job. It was very tough considering I previously did the 7 to 7 thing, Mon – Sat.
An amazing thing happened. The job still got done, I got my largest bonus, and I got promoted. My boss figured it out after about six months when I would shun 6pm meetings. . . he respected my “family first” decision (he lost his wife because of work, fyi).
I’m 10 years “clean and sober” as we like to call it. But no more past five, no more weekends. He just needs to make it happen.
Good luck.
WOW I was your husband less than a month ago. In his head I guarantee he doesn’t know how far he really is. Right now it is probably not about being a “workaholic” as it is a high of being that “important”, and “busy”. If you are having issues about it you need to talk to him fast, make examples and be supportive @ the same time. He will probably see it better that way rather than a horrible fight that it would blow up into. Good Luck. Also BE PATIENT. IT is not easy to give that up so quick esp if he had to work hard to get that.
when they are at work instead of home when they could be